Frail fan


Torn from the garden behind us.

With using film, no frame gets wasted. Except when your camera’s counter clearly shows you are at 36, your new roll is already in your pocket and you can’t wait to get the old roll developed. So that’s when you expect the lever to block you from advancing once more so that you can rewind, but nope, it’s not stuck, it obediently advances the film and the counter dial rotates a little, clearly showing that there’s another frame left.

What the hell am I supposed to do? We are at the lakeside, chatting and having some beers. Is it my uncle or my dad talking? Cannot recall. But my cousin is eagerly listening. “Fine” I tell myself rather reluctantly. I’ve already taken two portraits that day, so the subject doesn’t motivate that much. But then I spot the little flower she’s absently playing with; I suddenly recognize the soft colors of her scarf, the orange brick wall in the background and – of course – the flower. So that’s my bonus frame for the day.

As I try to advance, the lever blocks me from doing it. I get it: the roll is finished. Properly.


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